This journal is friends only. You can comment/message me to be added. There are a few posts that are public but at least 90% is FO mostly because i post some pointless stuff I wanna share (mostly music/music videos)...sometimes rants, poems, etc.

Hey, I know it's been awhile ^^; but I'm back to share Key from SHINee speaking in english ^^

Omo, I've fallen in love with his deep voice that he uses for it ^^ (P.S. Okay, and...I just have to share Tae Min's English too~)


( Key and Tae Min+English=love! )

Before I get into this post, I really do recommend to anyone who has not seen or listened to A.Mi.Go by SHINee to watch/listen ^^; please watch what can I say? I'm a sucker for love songs ^^;

As the sun sets another day has passed. Another world begins to emerge as shadows take over the broken hearted, the abused, the souls lost to the ever growing sorrow of humanity, and form gentle tears that stain this world.

Every day as the sun rises, they hold up their heads and bear the pain that leadens their hearts. Whether shy or outgoing, bold or understated, don't all deserve to be heard and seen in kindness?

This world has stripped away so much hope for so many. To be loved, isn't that all one needs? Perhaps, but in this aching pain that draws neverending sorrow I find myself looking to hope once more as salvation. Hoping that with each new day, these torn wings may be mended by someone willing to see what I have to offer them. A shelter for their heart and mind, a place of solace where discussion reigns over fists, a loving heart to share understanding and kindness.

In my dreams, I know I've seen the one. But the real question that remains is when he should grace this stage of life with his presence and when I may be able to shower my love upon him.


For in life there is grief, sorrow, hatred, and those who choose not to understand. Yet there is also happiness, caring, and most of all, love for those who love us and for those who have lost hope.

------------------------
To the one I know must surely exist:

I'll be your shelter when the world turns against you.
I'll be your haven when it feels as though hell has come to you.
I'll be your sun and your rain when your life begins to wilter.
I'll be your fire when winter ices over your heart.
I'll be your fountain when life leaves your world dry.
I will be everything for you.
But I will not be the one who leaves you.

Ok, so...I romanized and translated the song Young Saeng (영생) wrote and composed for the SS501 mini album. My Korean is not the best (still have major learning to do) so if anyone finds any flaws please let me know (in a kind manner preferably ^^;)

If used please credit me ^^;

( romanization )

( translation )

Ok, don't get me wrong. I still love asian music (maybe not all, but enough)...but, I'm getting tired of Asia in general promoting anorexia. Practically every celebrity from asian countries that I see are underweight. Which makes me love the ones who aren't thin even more because they have to fight harder to be recognized and taken seriously in the entertainment business. And what's with so many entertainment companies (including ones outside Asia) dressing their stars in skimpy outfits? It kinda turns me off of groups pretty fast. Music used to be about connecting with the audience, not selling yourself.

And I'm not talking just about girl groups, I mean, look at some of the outfits DBSK has been wearing lately. I used to love music because it was the one media form that truly still stood for something. But now, it just seems to be losing it's grasp and succumbing to destroying the self-image of others and their self-esteem to make profit.

It's so wrong in my opinion. I'll continue to listen, but as far as watching? I think that's going to be one of those things that happens if I get bored :\.

By the way, I'm also tired of people bashing groups or other artists in general for "copying" another. There's only so many ways to do something before it gets just too ridiculous or retarded (Super Junior H is a great example with some of their songs)...but, people have to realize, it's the companies that ultimately make the decision, especially with boy bands. They don't decide on the director for mvs, the company does. Hired writers, once again...company. There are very few boy bands out there composing their own stuff (like DBSK and Big Bang). But even those who do compose, don't necessarily get to perform their own stuff.

I'm really getting sick and tired of people thinking they're above others and that their opinion (especially the more bitchy it becomes) is right/fact. If they think they can do so much better, I'd like to see them try. Because more often than not, they'd be worse. On those occassions...I would truly have to laugh at them.

I mean, honestly. These people must have such shitty lives that the only way they can feel better is by insulting others.

SS501's Coward MV English and Romanized subbing

( I want to hold you and confess to you )

I've subbed Fahrenheit's Stay With You

( I will never leave you )

Hey there, if anyone's interested, I subbed Battle's 1st MV - Crash
HQ with english and romanization and Battle's 2nd MV - Malhae MQ with english and romanization. Hope you enjoy. If taking please comment ^^;

( Thoughts of you who left me keep resurfacing )

Passing glances, swift emotions felt within the heart, sorrow cutting deeper than wounds of time, fleeting thoughts of romance and an embrace that will never be. Dreaming of feeling wanted, needed, loved. Is it losts souls cry simply to be heard? When you're invisible, even in the clearest view, how do you continue on?

So many tell you that as the days pass by, things will reconcile, that the future will contain happiness. It's been over 11 years, yet I feel myself sinking into an indention of pain that I fear I shall never escape.

This world has been lost to the ideals of man-made concepts such as beauty. It has become tangled within greed (in so many varying forms). Even I am not immune to such things, after all I die once more as I make up hope that someone out there will claim me. Someone strong, soft, compassionate, desiring of something more than just the petty cares of this world.

I want to spread these wings I do not possess. I want to fly across the skies and heal those who have been abandoned. Yet how can I do so when I, myself, am still broken. Tears of blood escape my soul. People lie to me and think I believe their lies when they tell me I am beautiful.

Does the world think so densely that they believe I would buy such stories? After all, when someone is beautiful, they are pined over. They are looked upon with lust, asked out, told they are beautiful, desired by the mass. Yes, I know there is a beauty within someone's soul. But here I speak purely of the base desire for humanity to simply want a gem with no purity, rather than the piece of coal that may truly contain the world's purest diamond. (I wonder, why does it come as a shock to people when they find out that no one has ever hit on me? Not like it's a surprise.)

Does this world take me to be just like every other person out there? Yes, of course I cry, I have moments where I smile...in my core I am human. Yet at every turn I am constantly feeling rejected by a world that has lost itself.

All I desire is that embrace from someone who can feel my pain. I want that embrace that, thought innocent, contains so much passion and love. Should it be so wrong for me to desire? I know I have no talent in particular other than musing over the world and the battle that I am constantly silently fighting within. I know I am no genius, nor am I beautiful. But, doesn't everyone deserve to feel they are loved and wanted?

( Just sharing a new fanvideo )

Because everyone has pain in their heart.

( Because there was nothing you could do )

When is it that we find ourselves immersed in a reality that fills our hearts with happiness? How is it that we may stand here so blindly believing that we know why and how the world exists? When beauty is a man made concept how can we truly define ourselves as aesthetic or objective?

When at every turn we seek to label what is different from ourselves, then how can anyone say they are superior? Yet again concepts are created by man to form a definition of our world. We attempt to understand anything and everything we come across. Never can it be, it seems, that we may pass something and admit to ourselves that it is something that we cannot grasp.

Though we have evolved as it were to our current state, there is a huge hole within our species to give the fundamentals of compassion and to maintain higher purity. So many now see only what can benefit themselves at their current conjuncture in life and fail to see the pain and misery around them. Survival of the fittest is no longer what drives our climb. Instead we are driven by chance birth, meaning your luck on the region of the world you're born into, the income of your family, the current events within the world and so on.

No longer can we rely on nature. Instead those who suffer can only hope to maintain strength or pray that someone will take a stand against those who see others pain as happenchance. To those who see only their happiness as what matters, only their lives that deserve compassion.

Someone needs to take a stand for those who need help. But today, one person is sadly, not enough. Compassion should never be solicited. Compassion should never be given only to those who can "afford it". Compassion is the most powerful, yet lacking tool within today's society.

The world has become spoiled by humanity's drive for power and money. Therefore even more people have become alienated and destroyed from within by those who refuse to see that the world, without even one person, could be drastically different.

Is is saddening to realize, that through pain inflicted so carelessly by others, that we may have lost some of the greatest people who could have made our world take better steps towards a future with hope. Instead, we have now a world which will continue to slowly die out at the hands of a race that has become consumed with their own desires.

How is it that something so abstract which holds a substance so dense can bring light and hope to a desolate plane? When does emotion cross into purpose? Is it something anyone can define? When one loses themselves amongst the words of another, who can say it is wrong?

When we go about these days lost in the ferverish fog which has consumed our reality. When our souls have been dragged through murky waters made to look like crystalline lagoons. When we no longer question our existence and merely hide within the shadows of ignorance then who can truly say that powers beyond us do not exist?

It seems for me I have found a way to disconnect from this place. I've found a voice which can set me free, even if just temporarily. Though you may see me as crazy, though you may never understand, and though Angels may never know that they themselves exist I know that deep down I can draw wells of power from a singular heavenly soul.

It's crazy to look about my surroundings, both exterior and interior, and find that there exists two powers among us. Lost behind shades of fame, human thought, and feelings of being nothing other than what they've been born into.

My two angels:

1.) The most powerful vessel between the two - Shin Hye Sung (Jung Pil Kyo)신혜성
2.) The flowering and ever growing eternal magnae - Kim Ryeo Wook 김려욱

Each of these shall never truly understand their gifts and their powers. Though they shine so magnificently even within the light. I hope someday to meet them after this life and to thank them for following their dreams. Without them, I know I am not the only one after all, I know that so many out there would continue to wander these streets blinded and lost within a world that has lost itself.

If you ask what inspired this post I have simply to respond - Shin Hye Sung's 3rd Album: Vol. 3 Side 1 - Live and Let Live

(this last part can be ignored, I'm just practicing my hangeul and hanja writing: 사랑해요/我 爱 你 ㅅ_ㅅ）

OMG, this is one of the best gifs ever ㅅ_ㅅ

Ok, so it's been *ahem* a while since I last posted and of course I'm back with more video


Please enjoy these debut clips of U-Kiss!
( P.S. Cute Hyung and Dongsaeng moment included )

Hey there ^_^ Sharing some icons I made of SHINee, no group ones (*is horrible at groups*) But I hope you enjoy!
Onew: 7
Jong Hyun: 5
Min Ho: 6
Key: 7
Tae Min: 6

Preview:

( So SHINee )

Ok, this is kinda a mini SJM pimp post...enjoy ^_^ (btw, need to be a member of the comm sjchina to see the posts)

Interview
Pics
More Pics
Wallpaper I made
Live Performance
Song Lyrics (to U in Mandarin)
MV and Audio Rip
MV

Last but not least!

FLAWLESS Forums

Ok, so...everyone knows Ryeowook from Super Junior right? Well, my nickname for him is Wookie bear. Today I went and made a teddy bear at Build-A-Bear Workshop and got a custom shirt to create my real Wookie Bear ^_^

( Saranghae )

Sometimes it feels as though people can be so insensitive...often times I get upset/sad/happy, etc. for no real reason..I know why...part of it is due to chemical imbalances within my brain...the biggest part to the sadness is a mixture of my blood sugar levels and jealousy of my sister who is more outgoing and therefore has more people to talk to...but apparently to her I am just acting childish.

I don't think this is a fair assessment since she is looking from the outside in and not even acknowledging the fact that I have three mental medical diagnoses...Depression, BDD, and trichotillomania (not sure about the spelling on that last one)...

Honestly, as well...is it so wrong to want to be loved for who I am? To want someone to hold me in their arms? They don't even have to say anything...just hold me...no one realizes that over time that can be a tremendous help...and half the time apparently where it seems as though I'm upset I am not, and everyone just assumes their views on things are what is absolutely right.

At least I have a co-worker that I can talk to but, he can't do anything truly about it.

I want to be normal, I do...but when people are insensitive about it, it only makes me feel even worse...

Outside confidence is king
I am all that you're projecting
Inside feel the rising tide
And the revolution's deafening

I was trying to hide my opposing side
Trying to reconcile my Jekyll and Hyde

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)

Sometimes you put all of your desires in an object of affection
But in time because you idolise there is only disappointment

I was flying so high in your perfect sky
But I needed to fall, cannot have it all

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)

Don't need to compromise
I don't need to occupy the floor
There's a danger in boxing in my sin
And all that I am..

It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)

It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)